Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Cup of Drama in the Middle of the Night

     The same matter goes, 5 months of NO WORK and nearing 6 months this coming June 3.,I feel like my life's on recession. Sometimes, I cannot keep myself from having that "what if I went to blah blah yada yada yada" but, I instantly realized that I cannot bring back the past, but I can still do something for my future. I will not be a hypocrite, the feeling of hurt for my Asiana application is still here (yeah, there's a minute of hurt left) but I'm trying to regain the old ME - optimistic and hopeful. One of my friends cannot believe that at one point she's starting to see my negative thoughts and that I almost isolate myself from the rest here in the cyber world and kept mum about everything that regards with my application. I've been asking myself many times, "How long will I wait for that one thing to happen?" . It's really uncertain. My mind wants to give up sometimes, but my heart says NO. There are times when I'm praying at the church, then suddenly, I'm starting to be emotional, next thing I knew, I'm using my handkerchief to act like I'm just wiping some sweat on my face well in fact, I'm just drying my eyes. I'm sure mom can see me crying inside the church, in the middle of the mass, while everyone's falling in line waiting to receive the host and say AMEN. It's really hard how you let time flies staying at home and doing nothing. There are times when mom tells me, I should not be choosy in finding a job. *Sigh* It's not good to settle for something you dislike. It's just repeating my history. Dragging yourself to work is not as easy as ABC or 123. I don't want to work for something just for the sake of getting paid because in the end, I will be the one to suffer and I might end up crazy. If I to work, I want it for something I like. If I to work, it's mainly because it's my dream or that it's one thing I'm passionate about, as simple as that. But, reality hurts sometimes. I remember what an old friend told me: after graduation, the usual scenario is that you don't land for the job you're dreaming of unless you're the president's daughter/son. He's right and has a point, but I guess that has to deal also with the perfect timing.

   I've been open with everybody about my dream of becoming a Cabin Crew. I started applying mid 2009, but not continuously since I'm so busy working back then. Things changed after I resigned. I devoted so much of my time applying to my dream job. I applied to almost every airline company, but failure is really inevitable; If something is not meant for you, you will not have it no matter how much you prayed for it. I will not be ashamed to admit that I applied to several airlines and still unlucky to get in. I've gone as far as the final interview but that's it, that's JUST it for NOW. I'm conditioning myself that my failed applications are stepping stones not stumbling blocks. It's a stepping stone for something better. I know God is watching me, He is watching each and everyone of us who dreams and who tries to make that dream a reality. Whenever there are Open days and Screenings, I don't ask for signs, I just go, and that's one thing I will always tell everybody, don't wait for signs, I'm not saying it's wrong to ask for signs; my point is, whenever there's an opportunity to reach for that dream, just GO, who knows, that dream might be landing on your doorsteps. Make yourself closer to that one thing you've been wanting for so long.

     Uhmm..,Sorry, I'm making this entry a lengthy one. I apologize if I stated a "drama" or if I sound like preaching. It's 12:47 am in my clock now. I hope you will still have the patience to read this post ehe. Good-mor-night everyone!


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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello, I feel you, really I do. I myself have been unemployed since graduation last October (I'm also a Lasallian) and it hurts because I never thought I'd end up like this! And I think we have the same mentality, that we dont want to work for a job that we are not even passionate about! It's almost a waste of time if what you are up to is just the money, right? Minsan nakakainis ang pagkakataon talaga, bigla nagsusulputan ang mga opportunities kung kelan huli na. It's just disappointing and depressing. But we still cling to that hope :)

I myself have applied to several airlines na. But it's a tough field, but we chose it because that is where our heart is.

We'll get our wings soon and fly! :)
- jacq

Anonymous said...

You know,
I also missed my chances in other careers because I set my mind to apply and be open to FA lang..
And now, this is my 6th month as a bum... NOT good.. Kc puro failures FA application.

I think..Maybe it is about time we work? and apply lang ng apply for airlines. Mahirap maging poor.
Poverty is next to ugly.
Mahal ang mag apply: make-up, pictures, outfits, taxi...and just a fun lifestyle with friends is expensive. Nakaka stress pag walang pera, nakaka panget (just an opinion).

That's just my point of view..
But Don't ever give up ok! I can see your potential. I really like your positive mentality and your persistence. One day you will fly.

-1984baby

jO_anne on 9:18 PM said...

@Anonymous/Jacq:
Hi! Thanks for the comment? Are You from DLSU-M too? Honestly, after I graduated last Oct 2008, I have this mentality of choosing the first opportunity that will knock on my door, so I got employed Nov 08 but ended up dragging myself to work :( I didn't get to enjoy my first job and it changed my mind that I will never take a job for the sake of getting paid kasi magreresign din ako. I will agree na it really hurts to see yourself like this, na why can't we get the job we want, siguro kasi everything will be worth our wait and that there's a right time for everything. Let's just cling to God.We'll soon fly :)

jO_anne on 9:20 PM said...

@1984baby:
Thank You for your encouraging words :)

I agree, nakakastress din pag walang pera, kasi parang napapabayaan mo rin yung sarili mo kahit hindi ka naman busy. Naisip ko rin kailangan ko na talaga magwork, parang temporary work lang habang nag-aapply para mas maituloy natin yung gusto natin - FA :)

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