Friday, April 09, 2010

So Close

I'm breaking my silence. I took advantage of the time to muster all the courage to tell you my "ALMOST THERE" story.
Now, I'm ready.

February 23, 2010.After going to First Champion for my Saudia Application,my friend and I (who happened to be an FA hopeful too) went to TRI to submit the requirements for Asiana Airlines. There were a few ladies who were pre-screened before us. From our seat, we could see that some were asked to reach for the 217 cm but some were not. I was doubtful if I could reach it but my friend,who was called before me, said it wasn't that high. So,my turn came, Ms.J asked me a few questions. She later on checked my legs and even asked if I'm wearing stockings. I wasn't sure if she saw my big bruise in my left knee, then, she checked my height and weight. I am a cm smaller with TRI. Ms.J didn't ask me for the 217 cm reach test. She handed me the application form and advised me to submit that to her once I'm done. After I finished filling up the form. My friend and I approached Ms J to give the forms back. I thought she would advise us to wait for the e-mail regarding the assessment,but,it surprised us that she gave us this:

Right then and there,she told us a few things about the coming assessment. Ms J told us that it's going to be a first come first served basis. Since it would be a whole day event, we could bring a book so there's something we could do while waiting for our turn. She also added that there would be Asiana Reps on that day but not necessarily Koreans. I could still recall that time, she said: SEE YOU ON MARCH 4.So we left TRI with a sign of HOPE for the coming opportunity.

A few days before the March 4 Assessment. I received an email from TRI reminding me of the event. It was sent to confirm our attendance. I actually didn't expect it as we were already told by Ms. J re that matter. At that time, I was also thinking of buying a new pair of suit and a new pair of pumps. Hoping that new outfit could give me lucky charms,^_^. If you would remember, I had an old post about my Charles&Keith bronze pumps that I bought on sale. It's because I wanted a shoes that would look good in my new suit.

March 4,2010.ASSESSMENT DAY. My friend and I decided to meet as early as 7:30 at U.N. Avenue so we would finish early. When we got to Aboitiz Jebsen, we were already numbers 42 and 43 but it didn't take that long before we were called. We were advised to introduce ourselves briefly, Sir E told us in advance that they don't want to hear us saying the reasons because we wanted to travel, for the high pay and etc. When he said it's already given that high pay was one of the reasons why we wanted to be an international FA, but for me,it's a PLUS but it's not really the reason. It's my dream to see the world not just to go places but to do what I like - being of service
and learning. At that time, I was really blank of what would I'd tell the recruiters. I could not keep myself to stutter at some point while facing the panel composed of Sir E, a lady who was as an Asiana FA,and a Korean guy. There's only one question for us (this was not the exact question though): What was the quality you think an Asiana FA should have: MY ANSWER: I firmly believe that an FA should have the heart on what he or she is
doing because if the person has the passion for the work, the results would be great. After our exit, my co-applicants and I seemed like we had all the time to release all the nervousness that enveloped us while we're in front of the recruiters. I told my friend, I could have done more. I need a miracle for me to be included in the final interview.
I went home anxious and teary eyed. It's my dream. Asiana Airlines would be a dream come true. I prayed hard asking God to give me another chance to give what I could. I tried diverting my attention to other things so I could not think of my Asiana application.

March 5,2010. I went out with my friends to watch Alice in Wonderland. I thought it would be great so I could go away with the little stress I got due to too much thinking of what ifs and what might have been. 5 pm, while waiting for a friend at MOA, I received a message from my friend telling me a miracle was true, she's IN for the final interview. I was happy for her but felt more nervous for myself. My guy friend told me to check my email so I would know the truth. Good thing there's wifi at MOA. I checked my mail. Literally, I almost jumped for joy seeing an email too from TRI. I'm also IN for the final interview. I really do not know how to contain that happiness. Words could not explain what I was feeling that moment I knew I've reached that far, finally. I texted my mom telling her the good news. My mind was torn between watching a movie and replying to my friends who knew I was IN for the Final Interview. TRI also texted me to check my email but I already knew that time about the good message sent to my inbox:

The day before the FI,I bought another set of clothes, the above the knee skirt and white polo and of course, I bought another skintone stockings.

March 8,2010. FI. Moment of Truth. I was on the PM batch. So I decided to attend the 6:45 am mass to ask God for guidance. My friend who was on the am batch told shared her story. She said it was like a beauty pageant. I become more nervous. So while I was on my way to Aboitiz, I prayed the rosary and finished it asking God to help me on
that one last step closer to my dream of becoming DOnna Jensen in real life. At the Lighthouse Theater, I met with another friend who was also on the PM batch. We took grammar exam for 30 minutes. After that Ms. J told us of our groupings, 6 ladies in one group. I was part of the third to the last. I tried composing myself, getting rid of all possible nervousness. Letting my mind on top of all the feelings that could hinder me from getting my dream. Our turn came, we were asked to get a piece of paper containing a random question we had to answer. I got:What are your grades during college? I was surprised to see that,really. I was on the spot. I wished I got another question. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm ashamed of my grades. I wasn't. I was actually proud of what I achieved, I just don't want to brag about it. I had no choice, I had to tell them the truth. I just added that my grades would not be possible without the people behind me,blah blah blah. I know a flight attendant should be humble, I tried to sound like that.After the Q&A portion, we had to do the 218 cm reach test,could be on
tip toe.I reached it.After that we heard again Ms J saying the results would come last week of March as the latest.

Every day, I prayed to God. Everyday,I tried to be optimistic and hopeful. I've never gone that far. I thought it might be my THIS IS IT moment. I told God I wouldn't mind spending my birthday alone in Seoul or at 35,000 feet. I don't care if we would leave RP on the day of my birthday, etc etc.

Days passed. My laptop was malfunctioning so I could not go online to check my mail once in a while. The truth was finally revealed. TRI already sent emails to girls who got in. Later on,I've learned they only got 20 girls. Out of 120 girls who reached the FI, only 20 girls got in. That's it. My then birthday wish was gone. It broke my heart and felt sorry for myself. I was disappointed. I cried almost everyday. What made my heart plummet was when I learned that the girls would start the training on April 19, just the day after my birthday and they would leave RP on the 18th, MY birthday. I couldn't help myself to think, I could have been in Seoul on my birthday. I might be celebrating it with my new friends. I might have been in my dermatologist now securing soaps and creams and getting a diamond peel before leaving. By now, I could have bought a luggage and some other personal stuff I'd be needing. I might be having a send-off party this weekend etc, etc. Truth hurts but I have to face it.  Asiana's not for me NOW or just really not for me because I'm meant for another airline. Maybe God wanted me to pray harder or that God wanted me to trust him MORE than I trust him now. I wanted to think everything happened for a good reason and that it happened because a bigger opportunity was bound to come to me. Up to now, my heart still breaks whenever I think about what happened, so close to taste but I just can't touch (as the song says);  But I'm getting better as days passed by, with all the support and encouraging words people sent in my facebook account, I was sure I'd be completely healed soon. I had to revise my birthday wish and I'd be holding on to that. Sometimes, I'm telling God, if I wasn't meant to FLY, then why all these things were happening to me now? If I'm destined to work here in RP, then an opportunity would be calling at the right time, when
I'm all available. I knew God had something for me, maybe bigger that what I've asked for, only God knows. Time would reveal it. When one door shuts,another opens, I should never give up.

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F..for frustrated on 5:41 PM said...

Thats the spirit! don't give up.. keep trying, because one day you will get what you want. I've also tasted the bitterness of rejection, and what keep me going is what can happen. I'm still very much qualified, you are also very much qualified..lets not give up, and our time will come one day.

jO_anne on 9:54 PM said...

Thank you! We'll all fly soon! :)

Mariel on 9:59 PM said...

It's okay to feel sad about this, sis. I'm sure our time will come. :)

jO_anne on 11:22 PM said...

thanks mariel :)

Anonymous on 4:54 PM said...

carry lang yan sis.. this is just temporary :) we'll all fly soon... always rmember, you're not alone :)

vinZ'sweetest on 4:56 PM said...

sorry sis.. hehehe first comment ko anonymous nkalagay. hehe vinzsweetest here :)

jO_anne on 6:43 PM said...

@vinz's: ok lang yun sis! thanks :D

Anonymous said...

maybe there are things that we might consider as our priority so in ur case ate joanne don't feel sorry.. the right time will come and i do hope we will fly together, being a cabin crew is what i also dreamed of since then :))

Joanne Camet on 2:56 AM said...

@Anonymous: Thank you!

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