Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009: A Review

Forgive me, this might be a lengthy entry as this would be my review for the outgoing year.

7 years, 2 months and 16 days of being single., and counting.,
I really could not imagine how I was able to do those foolish and crazy things out of love in the past; and whenever I remember those 'sablay' moments I wanted to go under the table and hide. I never imagined how was I able to do those kind of things and whenever I look back, I wished I didn't remember them anymore. I could say I was already a changed person when it comes to love.

I realized I should not hurry love, because the more I chase for it, the more it moves away.

I've said I've been in love many times with every guy I've liked, but when I started to look back and studied my feelings, I found out I've been in love thrice.

Never expect the one you love to love you back. I have been so hopeless and helpless for the past two years that I even went to churches to pray for that one person but nothing happened.He went to my treat and gave me a book, sent him a text message (that night thanking him for accepting my invite and for coming with us even if we're not close ). I also sent him a message after I finished reading the book he gave me (I could barely remember that time. I was on my way home from a 3 days 2 nights trip to Baguio and La Union), a couple of holiday greetings last year,a birthday greeting last January and another message on the first day of his medical school. I also had the chance to be with him for a short time last May, but I guess THAT'S IT, THAT'S JUST IT. I was unsure of the next time that I'd be seeing him
again. I was sure, He didn't need me anyway. I was introduced to two guys after we graduated, I thought I was going to forget him, but, nothing happened, "T" and "A" did not pursue me. I guess I was not really meant to either of them or God knew, from the moment they have been introduced to me that I could not get over "K". Sometimes I wished "K" was thinking of me or that I was able to cross his mind even for a minute or two. His school was not that far from where I was residing, yet I felt like he was too far from where I was or more likely, he was out of reach. Last Christmas, I sent a group message, I really wanted to greet him but I did not, because I wanted to save even a single slice of pride for myself because I felt like I engulfed my whole pride when I loved him. I hope, there would come a time that I'd be completely over him, how I wish that time would be NOW, and how I wish letting him go would be that easy. I didn't know what magic he had in his system that I could not let go. I guess God was telling me something, and this was to take each step little by little
until I get over him. I should not pressure myself to get over him as one day, there would come a time that I'd. I was quite sure I could do it myself this coming year, no other guy involved as I promised to put full focus and determination to reaching my dream job. Career should be my priority now and not finding the guy for me.

Nothing could never be given in an instant, especially when it comes to love. You could not say you love someone overnight that's why I never believed in love at first sight. That was my view. You could be captivated by someone at first sight, but it would take a while before you could be in love with the person. Most especially, letting go and moving forward could not be done in just blink of an eye, one had to go a long road, and that was the hardest road. I knew in all of the hurt and pain, God would always be with us, he would guide our feelings. Prayer would always be our best weapon as it could conquer all the odds we could bump into when we travel the road to moving forward.


I think I already said almost everything about my previous work as a phonebanking specialist - clients shouting at me, clients blaming me because I was the bank's frontliner, clients filing a complaint against me and so on; on the brighter side, I also experienced to assist clients with good heart that even if I was not able to help them completely, they still thanked me for what I've done.

I never enjoyed being a phonebanker because I knew what I wanted ever since, but I knew I still have to be thankful as having a job would always be a blessing whatever the nature. God gave me that kind of work because He knew I could handle it. I knew God wanted me to discover what the real world was and He was successful because I was able to explore a part of it.

I would leave all the sad and bad memories in the year 2009. Tonight, another year would come and it's about time for me to start anew. I'd never stop til I reached the top, and even if I was already on top, I would never stop learning and sharing all the blessings.


So much had happened this 2009. This year, I was able to proved that:

  • Life was indeed a series of ups and downs.
  • We could not please everybody.
  • You should not be in a hurry, weigh things first.
  • If you failed once, take it as a stepping stone not a stumbling block, remember that we learn from experience.
  • Never be afraid to try the things you wanted to achieve.
  • Know exactly what you want and work for it.
  • Be thankful for all the blessings.
  • Always pray, God never ceases to hear all our prayers and answer them in the right time.



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