Friday, February 22, 2008

The Sad Truth

I am not moving on. But my friends said, that's just fine. My friends keep on telling me to give myself enough time to complete the process, and I agree with them because at one point, I hurried, but nothing happened, maybe, LOVE has really the tendency of coming back. It's really hard to be in this situation; you want to move on but something stops you from doing so. I know we can never be together but here I am, still loving that "one" person. Sometimes, I am thinking: if I to graduate this soon, will I ever forget him? and my feelings toward him? Does graduating and leaving La Salle will be of big help for me to move on (successfully)?

Whenever I see him, I feel like I betrayed him because we're friends yet the feeling I have in me toward him is more than that, but as much as possible, I try to be civil to him, I greet him whenever I pass by him; but no matter how I try to pretend that I'm just okay, I cannot hide the hurt to myself, now I know, I really now, I can lie to others, I can lie to HIM, but not to myself.

When a friend asked me if I can be her interviewee for her article about unrequited love, I instantly said YES because I don't want to contain everything to myself, I want others to learn from me,.from my simple words. Even if I know, saying YES to her will require me a lot of looking back from the very root of this situation, I did not turn down my friend's favor. I remember my friend saying: Jo, sana mag-heal ka habang sinasagutan mo 'to.

I really want to move on and heal, but no matter how hard I try, I can't, I really can't, I end up loving him still.


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