Wednesday, December 19, 2007

After A Year of Being With HIM

Second term, school year 2006-2007 -> that was the first time I saw him. We became friends because we were groupmates. He was nice, totally nice, a real gentleman. I did appreciate his looks but, he didn't become my crush instantly because I like another guy. I never imagined that at one point, I'd be falling for him. I never knew that would happen because one of my friends once liked him and hoped that one day, he'd notice her, and they could be together, just like any other girls feel whenever they like a certain guy.

The next term and the following terms

We became closer. I've been sharing stories of any topic. He was giving his reactions whenever I share my story about the guy I like etc. He was also good enough to give advices whenever I feel sad or down about the "other" guy, He was indeed, a TRUE FRIEND. And that was the thing I miss because I let my feelings won over our friendship. That was really sad because we'd part ways as if we never became friends. That was really the sad truth that I have to bear.

Yesterday, was I think, the last day that we could be together in one room. And as a girl with so much pride, I never gave him even my coldest Hi! I acted like I didn't know him at all. I felt nothing actually while doing that, I didn't know what to feel yesterday, All I wanted was not to see him but, it seemed like La Salle was too small for the two of us. While I was walking around Miguel Hall, I saw him on the other side of the hallway. When Dave and I were walking toward Yuchengco Ground floor, I saw him walking at the conscious (SJ) walk. I didn't know what to think. All I knew was I was dread serious about moving on, and I was actually doing that. I decided to move on not because I like someone new.

I decided to give up, forget about my feelings and move on because that was the right thing. That would be the best thing that I could do so as to save a little for myself. My words may be of words picturing pride, but, I couldn't pursue this feeling knowing that I would just be hurting myself so badly in the end. I have to put a period on this. I have to give up because this was unhealthy. I couldn't contain the embarasment that I was giving him whenever we're in the same room.

One year of friendship. One year of company. One year of being with him was good enough. I might miss him, but soon, I hope to regain my sanity which I thought I lost when I loved him.

Goodbye to him
But not to the friendship we made.

We might be seeing each other again along the halls, and I hope, I would be fine when that scenario comes.

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