Monday, June 11, 2007

I HATE YOU

I think he has a new girl. Not a new girl friend though, I mean, a new love or a new special one, I just saw the name on his stat message, so maybe, there's something special going on between the two of them, oh well, whatever, it's none of my business. I told Dave about that, and he asked: aren't you happy for him? I said, I'm not! Would there be any other reasons? I gave Dave an honest answer! Because I wasn't really happy for him. Sounds like I was bitter, and yes, I was. I have hard feelings for him. I was still hurting and maybe, I was jealous even if there's no reason to be. I was never his girl friend and would never be his girl friend, it's just a plain reaction of a girl who loves someone who has another. Besides, it won't matter whether I'm happy for him or not. He's not expecting me to be happy for him. It's really hurting me that we're going to end this way, in two to three months time, he's graduating, and I'll be left like we never knew each other. I mean, we'll be parting in this way like I really do not know what we really become? like if we're really friendS? I didn't even know if he has hard feelings for me. I hate this feeling of cluelessness, it's like I was becoming stupid.
My friends keep on telling me that he's not worth it, and yes, I do agree! My friends were superbly correct! I now believe them, I would always allow them to hate him! Many thanks to those I call REAL FRIENDS, unlike him, I didn't know if everything he said were all true! His sweet words, his thoughtfulness, everything turned like lies, I don't want to believe him now,I don't want to believe in everything he told me, I would only be a jerk like him if I to! I wanted to forget now, yes, in this very moment, I wanted to erase him in my system, I don't ever want to recall every moment I had with him now! I don't ever want to see his face again because I know he would just pass by me, like I was a stranger! I hate him not because he didn't love me but because he made me love him truly! I hate him not because he didn't court me but because he made me feel so special! Every tear represents the good times I had with him. Now, I wanted to cry again but I think there's no more tears left in my eyes. No more tears for a jerk!

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