Monday, May 08, 2006

Reminiscing

I've always been in love with you..
You took my love for granted
The show is over say GOODBYE..
-Take a bow (Madonna)

There's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love's just ain't enough
-Sometimes Love's Just Ain't Enough

He's been off my mind for 158 days now. After 2 yrs, 1 month and 28 days of insanity, I finally raised the white flag. I realized how stupid I became. I didn't know how much pain was removed all I'm certain was I have moved on. Although I still find him "handsome", esp when I see him in pictures, I always bear in mind that were not made to share forever or even love each other, I'm a straight woman while he's a gay. Many people including my friends kept on telling me he was a gay but I didn't belive in such rumors until I saw him, acting like one. I let him go out of my system knowing he was just a metrosexual. I thought he was metrosexual because he was too vain, (maybe because he's a model). I couldn't react when I saw him. I remembered everything, from the moment I was strucked by cupid and all.., just like that. "I never believed he was really gay until I saw him acting like really one." I remembered myself saying:
I have no doubts when it comes to him.
I love him more than life itself.
He was the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.
I knew, I don't know him that much but I really fell in love with him. He wasn't my first love but he was my first true love. First true love because I felt like I wanted to grow old with him. *sigh. But that's already left in the past. I've said those words once but I don't think I'd still say those lines again. My feelings for him already ended but the feelings didn't really go out, it stayed inside of me. I vowed to save it for that "one" guy meant for me. *sigh. As the song says, sometimes love's just ain't enough.
Minsan hindi sapat na mahal mo ang isang tao
Minsan dumarating sa puntong kailangan mong bumitiw para mahalin naman ang sarili mo kasi hindi talaga pwede at walang patutunguhan.
I was so glad I have recovered from my stupidity and insanity. I knew God helped me, from the very moment God opened my eyes about the truth, I felt He carried me. I knew God listened when I said:

Kung hanggang dito na lang po talaga yung sa amin, wala na po akong magagawa pa.
Kung ito po talaga ang will Ninyo sa akin, kahit na mahirap at masakit ay maluwag ko pong tatanggapin.

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