Sunday, May 28, 2006

I guess you're not just meant for me

There were nights I cried. I wondered why we have to be this way. I never thought loving you would be a misery. I never learned to love the right way. I always gain sorrow and tears. I don’t think I deserve such pain and such tears. Was this the only way for me to learn things about love? If loving you was a mistake, then I’d always be wrong.
At this point, I couldn’t imagine myself loving another person. I knew you like someone else, not me, and that hurts me so much. although hindi ko pa siya kilala..ngayon,,naiisip ko, nasasaktan talaga ako whenever I think about her..or whenever I say..baka siya..baka si ano.. But I couldn’t direct your heart nor tell you to love me back, I just couldn’t do anything about it. I never thought I’d cry over you. You were the only person who changed me so much, because of you I learned not to be that showy to the person I like, because of you I learned to keep my feelings and cry in silence. I never thought you could make another me in a moment. I never thought I’d cry while praying inside the chapel. I never thought talaga..I remember..I was inside the chapel..Basta ang sinasabi ko lang nung nagpepray ako..Lord, mahal ko po siya..mahal na mahal..saka ko narealize..nangingilid na pala ang luha other term, my tears were about to fall..pero napigil ko coz balak ko pang pumunta nun sa lib.. It hurts me so much whenever I passed by in front or beside you, you often ignore me. If crying because of you was poisonous, then I could infect every inch of person who happens to be my friend. If I could just only turn back the hands of time, then I’d pull back my heart, so that nothing would change between us, so that our closeness would always be the same, and that your freedom to announce who you like would be so much bigger.
Maybe you and I were not meant for each other, and there were other persons who could make our worlds go round. But for now, I want to say I love you. Forgive me for what I’ve done. Loving you was something I never imagined. If I could only turn back the hands of time, I'd lock my heart and close my eyes when you're around so this won't happen even in my dreams.


Aiming for Acceptance - yes, I'm trying to do this. I know this would always be hard but I know, this was the only way for me to go back to my normal life again. Kahit kailan naman hindi magiging madali ang acceptance..pero once you've done it..the rest would be easy..


Related Posts with Thumbnails

My Open Notebook Copyright © 2012 Design by Antonia Sundrani Vinte e poucos