Saturday, February 25, 2006

I Wonder Why

It makes me wonder why my friends keep on insisting that I’m in love at this point. Marge, Jaymee, and Nadz, most especially, tell me “you’re in love”. While me, on the other hand seemed, “no, no, definitely I’m not.” Being in love was one thing that makes me cry. I was too emotional whenever I fall in love coz it’s either I get involved in a one way love or the person I’m loving has no idea how I feel, like now, I must be a liar. I don’t admit to some that I like this person because I was too scared that something might get to be sacrificed.

Yesterday, Nadz sent me this quote:

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

The quote was true. But hiding my feelings was the only thing I know to keep things on the right track. Although I don’t love him at this point, I know, it was possible that this would lead to that something no matter how I resist it. I don’t have a choice, but to let things be this sad way. If I to admit this feeling to that person, I’m sure we’d both hurt each other, and I’d never ever allow that to happen. It’s so hurting to like him, it hurts more to think that he doesn’t know how I feel but the most hurting idea I have was that this assurance that he’d never feel the same way. People used to tell me that in loving, you shouldn’t expect anything in return, if the person was meant for you then, he’s meant for you, it’s so easy to say that but you know if you’re the one who’s being told by those words, it was so hard to dig that in mind. I have been told about it for so many times, and it was like listening and then going out on the other side. Oh I remember, I was usually the heart doctor of my friends but never my very self. That was one thing I know about myself. I usually give advices that could really help. My words were really helpful to others but when it comes to me, there were no ways to go out of depression.

I wonder why I keep on falling for someone who was never for me. I mean, I was such a stupid girl. I never learn from the past. If only I could teach myself who to love, I’d never think twice to do it so coz I don’t want to cry anymore.


Related Posts with Thumbnails

My Open Notebook Copyright © 2012 Design by Antonia Sundrani Vinte e poucos