Sunday, February 26, 2006

I never want to look back_______Where?

I never want to lool back on things that really frustrated me. Although I've been crushed by those things I must admit that I've learned a lot from those even if I've been hurt and have been depressed by them. I just want to share a few moments/happenings that melted by heart and turned me into a better person.

1. HEART ish when I was in first year high school. No need to elaborate coz it was too long.
2. A gap that has been born between me, together with my best friend and another close friend.
update: we're okay now. I now believe in the power of friendship; once a good friend, always a good friend (for our case).
3.The rough road last part of second year and at least half of my third year in h.s. I never want to look back on how I became so rude, selfish, jealous etc. etc.
update: We're happy now. Although we're from different schools, we still manage to stay close.
4.Having an "ax"-shaped number on my report card. I never imagined myself having that kind of grade that put me so close to the outside world where I don't want to belong.
5.First Part of my last year in HS, insanity broke me up again. It was eventually fixed.
6.Another heart ish to that person who was a year younger than me. I never intended to hurt him by my words. I guess I deserved his guilt and possibly his anger.
update: We never became friends. He even deleted me on his friendster account.
7. I failed the DLSUCET. I never admit this before because I was so ashamed. But now, I know, I have to coz you only get what you want when you became honest.
8.Admit that you're having hard feelings to a person. I'm not that frank in admitting who I dislike. I now know that hiding what you really feel just add to your burden.
9.Having no communication to the only person you love. It's hard to reminisce your happy memories with that person. It makes me wonder what went wrong in the middle of the road. I realized we're not meant for each other. It hurts more to accept that the person you continuously love will never became yours.

Anyhow, I should say that without those hurtful moments, I'd never be as strong as this, although it makes me feel upset that I'm having another heart problem, I just close my eyes and ask God to guide me and my feelings as well. I know prayer really works and I've proven that whenever I pray wholeheartedly.


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