Saturday, September 24, 2005

Always a FRIEND never the GIRLFRIEND

I remember my activity in Theology entitled "My Personal Credo". One of the things that I put there was this belief,

I believe that you don't realize that you're already falling in love with a person until you find yourself very much willing to do anything just to be with him/her.

I've felt this for the fourth time around, but whenever I feel "Love", I always turned out to be just his friend. I really didn't know the feeling of loving someone then being loved in return. I'm not a hypocrite to say it was just fine to just love and love. Sometimes, we need to think we should be loved back too. I'm fed-up being hurt. I'm deeply wounded by them. I'm always a friend, that's what they think of me. Always a friend, always a sister, always someone whom they can laugh with, always a person whom he can rely on when trouble strikes. It hurts though I can never make him feel the same way I'm feeling for him. I realy didn't know where to find myself again. I was deeply confused. "Mr Someone in the Past" was taking into the picture again. I was uncertain howw did it started. All I know was, I once told my friend that if ever that "Mr. Someone Important" would be another failure and then hurt me again unknowingly, I will do anything to let my feelings for "Mr. Someone in the Past" be back again.
I did lie when i said Mr Someone in the Past would never be mentioned here again. I really didn't know but he was really someone whom I'm always willing to give my warmest smile with and even the warmest friendship that I could give to anybody else.

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